Put On a Happy Face

I have been asked many times since Spring Break how our trip was...and almost every time all I can do is smile and say, "The weather was beautiful and the children had lots of fun."  That is the truth, but not in it's entirety.  I cannot keep telling the story of how one stupid event cost us our time with our boy, which was very painful and frustrating for all of us since seeing him was entire reason for making such a long trip.

Our second son (I'll refer to him as 2 of 9 since he doesn't always like to be named) has been in Georgia for a year, and we all miss him.  In February Jamie and I decided that we would take a road trip to visit 2 of 9.  Our first thought was to just take Dante, Leif, and Micah- leaving the girls with family, but that was not a possibility.  We went back and forth for a few weeks trying to decide if the van would make the trip (it has over 200,000 miles!), and if we would survive a 17 hour drive with 6 kids, then doing the drive all over again to get home.  There were also the logistics of finding someone to feed and care for all of our animals while we were gone.

In the end, the desire for all of us to see "2 of 9" won out and we started planning the road trip to Georgia.  We would stay at hotels on the way down, and we rented a cabin at a KOA for our 3 nights that was near our son's base.  We planned to visit a beach, do lots of talking, and visiting with old friends who drove 5 hours down from their Georgia home.




We arranged for a housesitter, packed our clothes and prayed for our van to survive!

The drive was beautiful, and blissfully uneventful.  Kimberly did not always appreciate all the hours strapped into her carseat, but in the end we were all thrilled to arrive at the campground.

We were reminded how much Dante absolutely loves to swim.  He was so mad every time we had to tell him swim time was over.  In one hotel on the way home again he screamed so loud and long about getting out that I was surprised no hotel staff came in to check on us. (Although maybe they had security cameras and saw it all? Or maybe someone had experience with Autism and knew Dante was fine?)

Unfortunately, not everything went according to plan.  Something went very wrong for 2 of 9, and we were given very little time with him.  We were supposed to be together from Monday morning through Wednesday morning, and instead we saw him for a few hours on Monday, a few minutes on Tuesday, and not at all on Wednesday.

I was torn between anger at the military system, grief for not seeing my son, grief for my kids not seeing their brother, and grief for 2 of 9 not getting to see us.  It took a lot of effort for me to put that aside and make sure the children were still having a good time, running around, swimming,  going to the little playground, and roasting marshmallows.

Honestly, I'm still a bit frustrated about the whole thing.  I know I should have just been grateful for the time we did get.  Clearly from these photos it can be seen that the children still had fun.  We did not go to the beach as planned, since we were hoping our Sailor would suddenly arrive, but a day of waiting at the campground resulted in only a 15 minute visit.  I feel cheated, and I feel that my kids got cheated, and the timing of the situation could not have been worse.  And my poor boy is still suffering the consequences of someone else's actions.  That really angers me.

I know that some day we will look back and this will have been a small blip in the big picture, but at the time, and still now, it is hard to rejoice in all circumstances.

Since Leif barely saw his big brother and we never made it to the beach (or anywhere!), I am saving tip money and hoping to fly down with him for a weekend visit in the Fall...too soon to drive again!

Next April we will likely make the trek again, Lord willing and van still working, and next time will be different, or at least the way I handle the any frustrating turns of events will be different.

In the end, it was a good trip if I look at it as a family vacation and not a pointless drive to and from Georgia.  We spent some time with good friends, spent a few hours with a son we had not seen in a year, and we learned that the children-- Dante included --can not only survive a road trip, but enjoyed all the different hotels and eating out.  The weather was beautiful, a nice change from the cold of Massachusetts, and everyone we met in our travels was pleasant and friendly.

God is good...even when I have a tantrum and ask him "WHY?"

How Autism Saves Us Money

Last week Jamie and I took our 6 youngest children for a short vacation at his parent's cottage in Rumney, NH.  We have been going there for 15 years now, and this was our first time without any of the Original 3.

I am not a fan of highways, and we were making our way up on some smaller roads.  Driving across Route 2 I saw a sign for a Fiber and Knit Shoppe.  If it has the words "fiber" AND "shoppe" in its name, then it must be the real deal, not your typical big store skeins of synthetic yarn.  Jamie saw me read the sign and said,

"Not with our crew."

I do not think he was referring to our six kids traipsing in and doing a little exploring of the shelves.

No, I think what he really meant was Not with our child who has autism and will walk in, look around, and start scream-singing "Happy Birthday to You" at the top of his lungs until we get out.  At least his stress level indicator song has harmless lyrics.

Our vacation options are pretty limited.  On the plus side, there is a lot of money not spent on entertainment for the kids.  No Storyland theme park, no Gondola rides or the Hobo Train.  No eating out at Plain Jane's Diner.   No visit to the Nature Center or hiking up Rattlesnake Mountain.  No bear show or bumper boats at Clark's Trading Post.

We certainly are not going to Six Flags this Summer for the rides or the water park, but Newfound Lake was only $27, and Monday the beaches were almost empty.  Dante loved it.  And the 10 minute wait to watch this water slide blow up was SO much better than the wait we would have had for a two minute slide at a theme park. The only wait in line was behind siblings!

We were able to walk to the Snack Shack and have three meals for less than one would have cost our family at Plain Jane's Diner.

There were plenty of ants in the cracks at the tennis court.  There were lots of frogs and salamanders in the pond.  Thankfully there were no bears (trained or otherwise) on the small hike the triplets, Leif and I took...and I don't think Jamie minded staying back at the cottage with Dante with Kimberly-- when we returned they were napping and he was reading Robinson Crusoe uninterrupted.

The only bumping was the kids pushing Kimberly everywhere.  (She can be kind of pushy about that.)

We have been going to Rumney Bible Conference for our vacation for 15 years now, and while the onset of Dante's autism changed how much we do while there, it has not changed the relaxing peaceful atmosphere that we experience there every year.

Even if Dante did not have autism, and even if we had money....we would still be at Rumney each Summer.

I would just have a little bit more yarn (fiber) sitting around.

Family Vacation 2012

I cannot believe our vacation has come and gone, with school starting in less than a week.  It was our 13th straight year spending time at Rumney Bible Conference in Rumney, New Hampshire.  The first few years we rented a cottage, but the last 8 or so years we have been blessed to stay in the cottage Jamie's parents own.  It was Alexander's second year missing the family vacation, and this year Nikita stayed home to care for the animals and work her job.  Thankfully we were able to pick up Zachary in Charlestown on the way, since his Summer job as Junior Counselor was ending.

During our thirteen vacations at RBC we have seen the programs and visitors at the conference go down, and it is sad to see so few families there.  Thankfully there was a group in for  the weekend of our visit, and we were able to join in dinners at the Lodge for a few days.  The kids loved playing carpetball and air hockey, although most of our time was spent relaxing at the cottage or in the pool.  Zachary, Amelia and Leif did some kayaking with Jamie.

One day Jamie and Zachary took 4 of the kids on a train ride in nearby Meredith.  I stayed back with Dante, since there was no way he and his autism were going on a train.  It frustrates me that so many of our activities surround how Dante will respond due to his issues.  The children all reported that the train ride was amazing though!

Following are photos of our experiences-- way too many but I did not post all 205 that were taken!  (I think the digital camera is both a blessing and a curse-- how many will I actually ever print out into an album??)

"Of course I can read!"

No electronics needed for a good time

Leif was mesmerized by the Russian nesting dolls.

Leif marched over and announced he was going down the slide with Daddy.  He didn't realize it meant going under, but took it like the little man that he is!

 

 There was a man on the train making balloon animals, which were thoroughly enjoyed.

Another day at the pool. Leif insisted on pushing Kimberly every time; he takes his job as big brother very seriously.

Amelia, Sunny, and Micah each decided to go down the slide.  It took them each several minutes top to bottom since they were so nervous!  It was funny since we had never seen anyone creep slowly down a slide, but they were so proud once the splashdown was done!

Kimberly enjoyed a brisk dip herself.

Dante LOVED the pool.  So much that I have already called the local Y to see about getting him in the water more often.  He did almost enjoy it too much-- we could tell sensory overload was happening when his giggles were becoming a bit hysterical.

Leif is signing "frog" since Amelia was taking him frog hunting by the pond.

They decided kayaking would be more fun.

And even better actually in the water!

Our last evening before heading home.

We will be back next year though!