Road Trip with My Wallflowers

We have nine children, and four of them seem to get the spotlight the most, especially on my Facebook page.  Amelia is naturally outgoing, she always jumps in to help, she loves having conversations, and we run together.  Leif is our awesome little man who has no idea that his siblings are defined as "different" or "special"...he just loves them and loves life...and has so many innocent yet wise moments.  Kimberly is the baby of the family and naturally gets a lot of attention.  Dante takes a lot of time because he has the double diagnosis of Down Syndrome and Autism, so he would come in 4th for attention received.

And then there are Micah and Sunny.  They just go with the flow, fly under the radar,, and I think they actually try to stay in the background.  Sunny wants to be included, but she also insists on being coerced into participating.  She will ignore all verbal attempts to include her, and if we give up and start without her she will start to cry.  She wants to be taken by the hand and led to the activity and needs to be helped every step of the way.  She is so hard to figure out! She's nonverbal, although she will very occasionally spout something, and I hear her talking to herself in her room. If we insist she will repeat us word for word, to make a request for something.  And Micah, honestly he's just plain lazy and completely content to be so.  He would watch TV all day if we let him, although now and then he will randomly sweep the floor or put away the dishes. The only thing that really gets them going on their own volition is Sunday School and dance class.  Honestly, Micah and Sunny don't get less attention because I love them any less, they just seem to prefer less attention.

Recently my Sailor asked me to help him move some of his stuff from Georgia to Massachusetts, and since I love road trips I did not hesitate to say yes.  I also decided that Micah and Sunny would be the ones to go with me.  They needed a chance to shine.  So this past week, during Spring Break, we packed up and headed south.

 Micah and Sunny each ordered their own meals as we ate our way south.  I did have to repeat Sunny's choices because she spoke so quietly, but she did speak!  Micah also got mad at me halfway through the week because I stopped letting him get fried tenders and french fries with soda for every meal.  He even refused lunch (grilled chicken tenders and green beans) during our ride home on Friday.  

 They were thrilled to see Zachary, even so, Sunny placed herself in the background of the group photo.  She really enjoyed watching the birds on the water.

 Micah does not enjoy being cold and wet, which is what he considers swimming pools and beaches to be.  We did get him to put his feet in the pool.

 Sunny absolutely loved the pool!  She got right in and spent an hour playing.  I went in with her for a few minutes and helped her do some actual swimming, but she preferred to bob up and down on her own, smiling the whole time.  This was a win!

 We played tourist for a bit and went on a boat tour of Cumberland Island, off the coast of St. Mary's, Georgia and Amelia Island, Florida.  Sunny enjoyed seeing some dolphins, but all she said was "Oooooh" multiple times.  

 Another win for Sunny, she loved Fernandina Beach!  Micah sat down and would NOT budge.  It took at least 15 minutes to convince him to get his feet wet, by having him pretend to be a penguin and walk to the water.  (Kimberly and Leif would have been up to their necks in the water in the blink of an eye, Micah and Sunny were a welcome relief to not be recklessly running into the water.)

Micah and Sunny did have a good time on this trip, but there were no "it's my turn to shine" moments like I hoped.  I guess my kids all have their different personalities, and these two are content to hang back and do more viewing than participating in life.

I'll admit I missed having my active ones along.  When going up a mountain in Virginia on 77 the van was slowing a bit-- yelling "everyone start pedaling" would have been a lot more fun with Amelia, Leif, and Kimberly along.  Micah and Sunny couldn't even muster up a "mom's crazy" look.  I never thought I'd miss Leif peppering me with questions from the backseat where I can barely hear him. (He's currently peeved that not all the letters of the alphabet follow the rules for reading, and wants "C" and "X" to be tossed.)

All in all, it was a good trip and I'm happy Sunny and Micah went with me.

Next Fall Leif and Kimberly with both be in school (sigh, a whole other blog post for that), and I will be focusing on academics, life skills, and social skills with just Amelia, Micah, and Sunny.  I'll have a whole school year, instead of just five days, to pull Micah and Sunny away from the wall they prefer, and get them participating in life.

The World Keeps Turning.

We finished our first month of schooling...and we are looking forward to working our way through month 2.

Kimberly has turned 3 and therefore has stopped all of her therapies.

Dante is fully enrolled in a special needs classroom and loves it.

Sunny has turned 13.

Today is Amelia's 11th Adoption Anniversary.

Nikita bought a puppy that is just adorable and sure to keep her busy.

And the world keeps turning.

I am so thankful for our life, our home, our amazing children.  Alexander in college, Zachary in the Navy, Nikita contemplating her future, the triplets doing so well at home, Dante in school, Leif rocking our world daily, and Kimberly making sure our world revolves around her.

God is good.

The School Year That Wasn't

I have barely found time to write here this year, and some times I have avoided it. The avoidance is a result of not wanting to sound like I am unhappy with the privilege of homeschooling my children.  However, this year has been anything but what it should have been.

Like most home school moms, I spent August preparing for the perfect school year.  Curricula purchased, routines outlined, objectives in place.  This year will go according to plan.  I know what each of the triplets needs, and Jamie is taking care of Nikita's senior year.  Leif just gets to have fun, and Kimberly has her slew of Early Intervention therapists to help me keep her on track.

Dante has been our only child in public school, and I always felt guilt about that, but with his complex needs I knew I could not home school both him and the triplets.    However he started the school year without an IEP because we had rejected it back in June as inadequate, and come September we still had not been given a new meeting date.  And he was still gluten/dairy free attending a nut free school.  And then he came home with marks on his neck from his car seat being too tight and  I was told to transport him myself until I fixed the seat to fit him.  And still we had no meeting.

So we pulled Dante out to home school, and they could not say good bye and good luck fast enough.

And so ended the year I could do it all and began the year I could not.

I once jokingly told a friend that I don't home school my kids, but rather I create an educational environment and hope something sticks.  I never knew that is what this year would be.

Bringing Dante home did not change my social life, because I do not have one. I had already stopped doing any co-ops or group activities with the kids...it is hard to be excited to go watch your kids get ostracized and be told one more time "we'd love to have your kids participate, as long as you are right there with them". They still had Special Olympics and Sunday School, plus story hour for Leif and Kimberly, and since Zachary and Nikita were still here to help watch Dante, we did get out for little field trips.

Bringing Dante home from public school did change how my time is spent each day, and despite the various routines  I have tried, the revolving door of therapist in and us going out for therapies...plus specialist appointments and family field trips...makes everything quickly fall apart.

So we have learned to do school work here and there, and often when the kids are unaware they are being taught...well unaware they are learning, since I was often with just one while the others were learning together.

Oddly enough, one of Dante's independent therapists- whom he has been seeing for several years- told me that she knows this year has been very stressful for me, but being pulled has been the best thing that ever happened to Dante (based on the progress he has made with her).

So how can I put him back in school next year?

Yet how can I not?

Alexander is in college, but Zachary and Nikita were still home to help.  Then Zachary entered the Navy in December, but Nikita is still home.

She leaves for the Navy in August.

And I will have 3 year old (in September) Kimberly, a very rambunctious 4 year old (in June) Leif, 8 year old Dante significantly impacted by autism and Down Syndrome, and "the triplets", who also have Down Syndrome.

Sure, God is with us and we can certainly do this...but is it really the way we want to go? Dante simply does not do field trips...at least not with Leif running ahead and Micah lagging behind and Kimberly in a stroller and....

I am already tired all the time...home schooling plus working 5 nights a week waitressing , plus housework, gardening, baking/cooking for the family...

So I am waiting on God's brilliant plan for us.  Perhaps Dante will be in school.  Or he can go once a week to get therapies there and that will be our field trip/doctor appointment day.  Or I can hire a teen to go on field trips with us or to stay here with Dante.  Maybe he will be home,  and walking to the playground or library will have to be enough for us next year.

I do know that the falling apart of this year's plans did not mean my kids did not learn, and spending time at the table is not a mandatory part of education.  Flash cards have worked well for teaching reading, and math is incorporated into snack time and play time.  Spending time outside is always good, and the use of iPads is a perfectly acceptable way to learn.

Whether Dante is here or at public school, next year will be the year of fun learning experiences led by Leif, he really gets the kids trying new things and using their imagination...having fun with him being 4 will be one learning experience after another for the triplets and Kimberly.  And just maybe, Dante too.


God is good, even when I am tired.

World Down Syndrome Day

March 21st is World Down Syndrome Day, because it is 3-21 and so is Down Syndrome! (Third copy of chromosome 21)

In order to honor the five children Jamie and I have adopted, who each have Down Syndrome, I have decided to post 21 random photos of them. 

Enjoy!

Micah getting outfitted for going on a ropes course in Virginia.

Amelia comforting her little brother when he needs her.

Three bakers making a pie.

ShanLin doing her chores.

Having afternoon tea

"Helping" on a friend's farm

This time really helping, feeding the calf

The climbing tree at the apple orchard

ShanLin feeding her baby

Amelia had an opportunity to meet an Olympic gymnast

Kimberly thinking she gets to try some coffee.  (it was empty)

Sorting and folding their own laundry

Doing their part to get the garden growing

Micah showing baby sister his medals

Micah earning his medals

Dante learning to experience new things (calmly)

Amelia walking to the Library by herself for the first time

Kimberly the Horse Whisperer

And Goat Whisperer too!

Micah learning how to use a fire extinguisher

Amelia reading to Kimberly.

And a bonus photo!  Kimberly and Leif want you to know,

God is good, ALL the time!