Today is two months since our paperwork arrived back in Taiwan. So today we are 2 months into our 3 1/2 to 5 month wait for travel. The optimist in me says we are probably more than half-way into our wait, the pessimist in me says we are not at the half-way point for two more weeks. I am ignoring the pessimist and know we are more than half-way to our daughter! It has actually been just about 8 months since we first saw Sunny and began the adoption process, so we are definitely in our third trimester of this "paper pregnancy".
We pray for Sunny every day, that God would prepare her heart for us. It is something I contemplate often. Sunny has been in the orphanage since she was a wee baby, and she has Down Syndrome. Does she even know what a family is? How can she comprehend that? Jamie and I know with absolute certainty Sunny is intended by the Father to become our daughter. But she does not know that. We will be strangers to her, showing up one day and turning her world completely upside down.
This was a struggle for me when Amelia came home, and I really did not expect it. She would sit on the couch looking so lost and confused, and I knew I was the cause of her complete and utter sadness. I cried, even though I knew she was our daughter and she would get through it- and she did, in time.
I do not look forward to that time with Sunny, and I know it will come. Sunny is much older than Amelia was, and will have a lot more memories to sort through, a new language to learn, and new routines to learn. She will have to learn what a family is, while the family learns where she fits in. And she will fit in, because Sunny is our daughter.
So until we travel, I pray every day that her heart is being prepared for us, that she will at least learn us from the pictures, that she will be given a comprehension of English (which she is being taught now), that she will not be scared when we take her from the orphanage and spend several days trying to get to know her before making a 24 hour trip to the other side of the world.