Saturday, July 9, 2011

The Adoption Option

When parents are adopting, they are put in the unique position of being able to choose their child.  I realize this is not always the case, for example when waiting for the referral of a healthy baby.  Parents give the agency a list of acceptable attributes-- gender, age range, correctible special needs --and then they wait for a referral.  The wait can range from months to years depending on the country.  In the end though, the parents have the option of refusing the referral. 

Special needs adoptions are only slightly different.  There are photolistings of children, and on some websites it is as simple as typing in the disabilities, ages, and gender the parents are willing to accept.

As Christians, when we believe that God loves all children and we feel compelled to adopt His orphaned children, is it right for us to pick and choose our children?  After all, when pregnant we do not morally have that option.  Many that give themselves that option-- selective abortion -- are condemned by us.  Often the disabled children in orphanages are there because their birth parents were not able to handle the diagnosis, and the orphanage becomes their only option.

I struggle with this, and yet I am thankful for the choices I have as an adoptive parent.  It is heartbreaking to see hundreds of photos of children who desperately need homes, and to admit that for some of them I would have to say "no".  Honestly, it is nice to be able to say "the Lord is leading me this way, and He will lead the right parent to that child".

This is exactly what has happened to Jamie and I recently.  We are no longer pursuing the adoption of a child in West Africa.  It was not feeling right anymore, for a variety of reasons.  I receive emails from about waiting children who "match" my criteria,  and recently I found Elsa.

Jamie and I have felt so much peace in the last week as we have switched our plans.  We are now pursuing the adoption of Elsa in Estonia.  We are excited about her becoming our daughter, and we look forward to visiting her and her birth country in the next few months.

We need to file our I-800a to start the immigration process.  The fee for that is $890.  Once we have that approval she will be officially on hold for us.  (Right now she is "unofficially" on hold for us)  When the approval is in hand Nikita and I will travel to Estonia to meet her and accept her as our daughter/sister.  Then the court process will begin, and 4-10 months later Jamie and I will travel to Estonia to make it official and bring her home.

Please pray that our home study is indeed done next week, since it has to go with the forms!
Please pray for Elsa, that she would be prepared in her heart for becoming a part of our family.
Please donate towards the cost of this adoption, by using the chipin in the sidebar.  Every.little.bit.helps.

1 comment:

harris family journeys said...

Hi! Congratulations on your commitment to little Elsa!!! She is a doll. I have tried to find you on FB to contact you but so far I have not been able to. We were also looking at committing to Elsa and I would love to talk to you more about adoption. We have two beautiful boys with DS adopted from Ukraine :-). If you do not mind, you can contact me at

Thanks and God Bless!!!